Yes, This Seat is Taken

More and more, I find that the post I’m thinking of writing wouldn’t make a lot of sense to anyone but me and perhaps Elle.  Why that’s so is that I haven’t posted about the ‘big thing’ that happened about a month ago.  The ‘big thing’ gets into all the other things, so I think and (presumably) write differently about them.  Frankly, I don’t know why I haven’t said anything about the ‘big thing’ in the blog yet.  I’ve told a lot of people, and a lot of people were there when the thing happened, but I haven’t ‘documented it’ yet.  Maybe I wanted to wait to write it up till I had the time and alertness to ‘do right by’ the news.

If I stay true to that, you’ll never know what the news is.  So here is the big thing.

On August 4th, I got engaged.

For those who already know, that’s maybe a half-hearted trumpet fanfare, but I know there are still folks out there – myself included – who’ll be very excited to read the words.  (I mean – holy crap I’m engaged!)  Fireworks and streamers and an upswell of triumphant music!

Oh!  It’s to Elle.

For anyone who’s never been engaged to someone, I totally recommend it.  For me, at least, being engaged grabbed every particle of “I hope she still loves me” and shot it into the vacuum of space.  The relationship hasn’t really changed, but it feels bigger, like re-potting a plant into a bigger one.  Same plant, same windowsill, but there’s so much more room to grow.  What a silly metaphor.

We were at a weekend seminar together, and a friend of mine shared something about her relationship with her boyfriend.  She loves him a lot, but hated being asked ‘when are you getting married?’ because she’s not FOR marriage.  I was listening to her and thinking that Elle and I don’t have that problem, we actually like being asked.  ‘Cuz, well… the relationship works, like no other relationship has ever worked, and I’m thinking about the future and seeing her in it.  What I wasn’t liking any more was when people asked me “When?” and I had no answer to give them.

Sitting in my chair that weekend I asked myself, “What are you waiting for?”  No answer was coming to me.  It was just …procrastination and nerves.  It wasn’t even uncertainty, not really, because I guessed (correctly, thank all that’s good) that she’d say yes.  So I stopped waiting.

During a share-in-front-of-the-group portion of our weekend, we were asked to acknowledge someone for …well for whatever.  For getting us into the course, for keeping us there, for who they are for us, something.  So I spoke to Elle, and thanked her for being such a vital part of my life.  I included the “what are you waiting for” revelation I’d had, and then asked her, sans pillow talk or ‘rehearsal,’ will you marry me?

Suddenly the room exploded, with close to 400 people (loudly and happily) sharing the moment as Elle bum-rushed me at the microphone and said ‘yes’ a few times.  I caught it the first time, but it was great to hear the extra yesses too.  Yes was my favorite word that day.

Suddenly I was engaged, and that feeling I mentioned earlier clicked in like a key in a lock.  I felt the shift, and it’s a high that hasn’t gone away in the month since then.

So we went to buy a pretty-but-cheap Interim Ring to tide us over (and give the girls something to ogle) till I bought her the real ring, which is another story.  We also called our parents to share the news, which is at least one other story.  Plenty of stories.  Plenty more to come too, I can feel it.

I promise the next post will be less sappy.  Perhaps it will include guns and/or sports.

~ by joshkauffman on September 2, 2008.